It has been confirmed that The Laughing Cow has pissed herself after years of laughter on numerous items of soft cheese packaging.
According to sources close to the Bovine star of TV and magazines, years of constant laughter and merriment have taken their toll on her kegel floor muscles, and she suffered a total prolapse on Saturday morning.
She was taking part in a promotional appearance outside a Morrisons in Hadleigh, Essex when the incident happened.
A witness said: ‘She was already laughing as much as usual, and then a member of the public said that Babybel were both cheesier and generally more pleasant.’
‘This comment just pushed her over the edge, and she was in fits of hysterics within seconds.’
‘Unfortunately, Just a few moments later, a gushing noise was heard and a torrent of piss was hitting the pavement.’
‘Poor drainage provision meant that it started streaming towards the main entrance where they had a promotional crate of Cheese and Chive Pringles.’
‘They have all been binned as a precaution.’
A local doctor added: ‘We have been warning her for a while that her destructive nitrous oxide habit would catch up with her.’
‘To be honest she’s bloody lucky she didn’t shit herself as well. Just as well nobody spooked her.’
One onlooker said he felt ’embarrassed’ for her.
He said: ‘I just couldn’t bear to watch her degrade herself in this fashion. Incontinence hits us all at some point, but this was worse than the time when Tony the Tiger left his insulin injections at home.’