It has emerged that a large group of people in the United States are currently struggling to overpower a single man who is walking around with a big stick, with some experts predicting that this unbelievable lack of imagination could last for at least five seasons.
One member of this group called Rick told Southend News Network’s Chief Reporter that they are literally ‘out of ideas,’ and he added that for the foreseeable future it may just be easier to do whatever he says instead.
He said: ‘We have thought of everything and it truly is impossible to overpower him. We did consider just running him over with a really big car, but the barbed wire on his big stick might burst the tyres.’
‘Besides, the guy has even given his big pointy stick the name ‘Lucille’ so we know that he’s probably off his head.’
We spoke to another member of the group called Michonne, who admitted that although she is a skilled Samurai swordswoman capable of killing fifteen people in the blink of an eye, she may struggle against a single individual with a wooden club.
She added: ‘I have considered wasting the f****r with a couple of swords since he confiscated all of our guns, but I am really scared that he will throw me into a prison cell and make me eat dog food sandwiches.’
‘He may talk like someone who is going to burst into a country and western ballad about his faithful dog Sparky at any second, but deep down he is fierce.’
‘There are about 100 of us across our own group and The Saviors altogether, many of us with a particular skill when it comes to violent combat, but he has a stick – how are we meant to fight against those odds.’
‘In many ways, it is just better for everyone if we all just attend regular meetings where we all sit in a circle and wait for him to choose someone’s head to cave in. We could try and shoot him, but he could probably just bat away the bullets with his big stick – even if we could get hold of some sort of automatic machine gun.’