If the Saxon King had turned up at the pub that was named after him, how would he have paid?

The construction of a new footbridge at Kent Elms Corner has been halted indefinitely by the discovery of a wallet that archaeologists believe belonged to the Saxon King, whose tomb was discovered near Priory Park in 2003.

Earlier today, construction workers cracked through a layer of tarmac and uncovered a wallet that shows all of the design features that were in fashion during the 7th century. Along with a number of groat notes and a brief shopping list, it would appear that the King had a Capital One Mastercard that was due to expire in January 654AD. The credit card also settles another argument that has been simmering for the last 12 years about the identity of the ‘Prittlewell Prince’, and it confirms that instead of the much-debated choices of Saebert or Sigeberht II the Good, his actual name was Geoff.

The Southend News Network contacted Capital One to see if the account was still open, but they were unable to confirm any details due to data protection laws.

Although the wallet measures only 6cm x 4cm, local archaeologists have made an application to the council for approximately 10 square miles of land to be dug up, resulting in the demolition of roughly 25,000 homes – the dig site will also lead to the loss of 1,000 businesses and transport infrastructure. While some people may consider the size of the dig site to be excessively excessive, the application states that there is a real possibility that the King’s fabled Biro may be resting underneath the passenger terminal of Southend Airport.

As a precaution, no road improvements will be carried out within the borough of Southend for the next 25 years while the investigation work is in progress.

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