A spokesperson for the production company behind Celebrity Big Brother has confirmed that Jamie O’Hara has been sensationally REMOVED from the house by security staff.
According to reports on Thursday evening, a team entered through the main doors shortly after 8pm and removed O’Hara after a furious row with cleaning expert Kim Woodburn when a number of crew members expressed concern that nobody had actually ever heard of him.
Our source said: ‘Things got really heated between Jamie and Kim because of an initial row over a slice of toast that had remained on the floor for a number of hours, butter-side down.’
‘When Kim challenged Jamie about this, he made it clear that he had no intention of picking it up, and Kim just stood directly in front of him and said ‘Who the hell do you think you are? Who are you?’
‘At this point, there was pandemonium in the production gallery behind the house as a number of people who work on the show were just looking at each other with vacant expressions. One junior researcher was overheard remarking ‘Hold on, who is this guy?’
‘We all held an emergency meeting with senior company officials in attendance, and everyone mutually agreed that they had no idea who Jamie O’Hara actually is. Someone jumped onto Wikipedia and there was just a picture of a man shrugging his shoulders and saying that he might have been a football person for some team somewhere, or possibly an interpretive dance performer or an architect.’
‘Jamie was held in a side room for an hour until a minicab arrived to take him home.’
A brief statement from Channel Five gave further details of O’Hara’s removal, and it also made it clear that all future contestants will go through a thorough vetting process to ensure that viewers have actually heard of them.
It added: ‘Unfortunately, because of a previous administrative error we have invited people to appear in Celebrity Big Brother purely on the grounds that they physically exist and display signs that they are willing to proudly display their genital areas on national television.’
‘For future versions of the show, we will parade all potential contestants up and down a number of Britain’s High Streets to ensure that they are recognised for doing something worthwhile for civilisation at some point.’