The Conservative MP for North Somerset Jacob Rees-Mogg has admitted in an interview that he finds foodbanks ‘splendiferously entertaining’ – adding that he often spends his evenings sitting outside his local one with some brie and a glass of Dubonnet. 

He added: ‘I find that foodbanks are incredibly uplifting – especially when I have had a tough day at the office and need a jolly good giggle.’

‘I popped down with my good friends Marcus and Marcus just last Wednesday.’

‘We’re not total bastards – we dropped in beforehand with some leftover foie gras that was probably only just on the turn.’

‘My local one feeds hundreds of people in desperate need every single day, and it’s great to know that they care so we don’t have to.’

‘I have often wondered what would happen if the upper-middle classes fell upon hard times and were forced to visit a food bank, and so I am spearheading an initiative with the John Lewis to create a number of subsidised Waitrose branches around the United Kingdom.’

‘Funding for these shouldn’t be a problem with the £350 million per week that we will be saving after Brexit.’

‘In any case, they’re not really proper banks are they?’

‘You don’t take a bag of food from one and return after a fixed period of time to give them one bag and a tenth in return.’

‘This would actually motivate the most needy in society and create foodbanks that are economically sustainable – we could regulate them and everything to prevent reckless food lending.’