A spokesperson for ITV has confirmed that the ‘P’ logo that appears at the some programmes stands for the word ‘pissartists.’
The announcement was made earlier today after more than 500 people called the TV channel when the logo was shown at the start of an episode of Loose Women.
Niles Common-Denominator, ITV’s Head of Cultural Enrichment said: ‘Under new Ofcom guidelines, we are now obliged to inform the viewing public whenever a one or more pissartists will be on screen for 30 seconds or more as part of a broadcast.’
‘The average episode of Loose Women is typically 85% incoherent babble and 15% oestrogen-fuelled gushing, which means that the logo must be used to give people an ample opportunity in advance to lock themselves in the nearest freezer.’
‘It will have the same impact on a neurological level.’
‘During Monday’s episode, one or more pissartists was clearly heard talking down the male race to the extent where Katie Price called for their immediate extermination through a system of labour camps and forced ironing.’
‘Broadcasting the logo means that as a channel we won’t be wide open to legal proceedings from viewers who suffer irreversible brain trauma.
‘Viewers can next expect to see the logo broadcast on Friday’s show that is entitled ‘Should Paedophiles Be Banned For The Sake Of Our Kids.’
The development came after some episodes of the show last year were replaced at the last minute with footage of Peter Andre jingling a set of car keys, occasionally humming the chorus from Mysterious Girl.