Out of the 1000+ ‘news stories’ that I have ever written on Southend News Network, this has to be one of the most difficult …

Since October 2015, we have gone from ‘nothing’ to becoming one of the leading satirical news websites in the South Essex area. 

This has only been possible because of the fantastic support that you have all given us. The likes, the shares, the OUTRAGE. 

However, with a heavy heart, it’s time for the Chief Reporter to say ‘au revoir.’ I can’t really go into huge details about it other than to say that it is for personal reasons. 

However, I can assure everyone that it has nothing to do with the government’s bullshit crackdown on fake news.

All that this so-called enquiry will do is gloss over the fact that mainstream media outlets do far more damage than sites like SNN with their constant twisting of real stories. Ever read a Daily Mail article and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to smack a brown person? There you are …

Nor is Katie Hopkins after me – she’s too busy wallowing in Trump fandom for that. 

Unfortunately this isn’t one of those ‘Look. Here I go. I’m leaving now. Watch me go. Why is nobody watching?’ moments – it’s more that I need to move on before I get thrown off the pier by those Southendian fundamentalists. 

The good-ish news is that it’s not simply a case of pushing a button and watching SNN become a screen of static noise – there is a future for Southend News Network and I am ready to hear from anyone who fancies having a crack at it. £1m should cover it – there’s some fake news for you all 🙂

So, if you are Southend-based or just want a crack at this beast, get in touch on newsdesk@southendnewsnetwork.com. 

Unless of course you are a well-known local newspaper. You can kiss my gorilla ass …