Islamic State’s national football team has qualified for the 2018 World Cup Finals in Russia after an emphatic 11-0 victory over two legs against Moroccan Kyrgyzstan.
The result means that there will be a fully-fledged Islamic caliphate playing at a World Cup Finals for the first time.
Top scorer Hiyyah Al-Duyudu scored four in the second leg at the Raqqa Superdome, although he was sent off in the 89th minute for ignoring a female assistant referee who flagged him offside.
He continued to run and shoot, and the second yellow card meant that he may miss his team’s opening match in Russia.
A spokesperson for the Daesh United Football Federation said that the achievement was ‘exceptional,’ and he added that he hopes that the finals will improve relations between ISIS and the rest of the world.
There is even a rumour that they will bid for the 2026 finals.
FIFA General Secretary Jerome Robsonne added: ‘Well they can’t be any more evil than the Germans. Good luck to them.’
’We embrace all footballing nations at FIFA to ensure that we fulfil religious acceptance quotas.’
‘Any other faith-led maniacal caliphate-like outfit would be treated on equal grounds.’
A source close to Harry Redknapp confirmed that a number of the ISIS starting eleven are ‘on his radar’ as he is often on the lookout for lads with something a bit different.
Speaking through a car window, he said: ‘That Al-Duyudu fella. Good boy. Quite handy on the attack. Tricky little fella. Wicked shot on him. Shouts a lot.’
’The draw will be an interesting one. Talk about ‘group of death.’