It has been confirmed that a post-Brexit border deal has been reached between the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland.

According to a statement that has been released by officials at Westminster and the (something Gaelic) in Dublin, there will be a hard border in place, but anyone who is in two minds about crossing will be enticed from the Irish side by a lady holding a tray of cups of tea while saying ‘go on, go on, go on.’

The statement added that if someone still doesn’t wish to cross, the lady will switch to ‘ah you will, you will, you will.’

Speaking on his LBC radio show, Nigel Farage said that it was ‘a good start,’ although he conceded that there is more to be done to achieve the best possible solution.

He said: ‘We just need one at Dover now with a guy in a bowler hat who says ‘bugger off.’