Here’s a list of everything and everyone who has more points than West Ham United

Three triangles.

A dodecahedron

Whatever nine, ten and eleven-sided shapes are called.

Someone who has been caught driving while using a mobile twice.

Someone who has been caught driving while using a mobile and also doing 60 miles per hour in a residential street.

The approach to Clapham Junction.

A red, followed by the black, and then another red.

Most random chucks of a dart, even when bladdered.

Anyone in the football pyramid who has managed to win three measly games this season.

The sheet of paper entitled: ‘A list of reasons why the transfer of Carlos Tevez was dodgy as fuck.’

Anyone spending more than £9.00 in Tesco who has remembered their Clubcard.

Most of the Premier League.

Anyone in Rugby Union who has scored a try and a conversion where the referee can’t count.

Most entries in any given Eurovision Song Contest.

Someone who completely fucks up a GCSE maths question but still manages to show some logical working out.

A toddler using the ramp and the bumpers at ten pin bowling.