How could this branch line go undetected for so long?

The CEO of Abellio Greater Anglia Sir Henry Raylesworth has admitted that he was SHOCKED when he recently discovered that there is a railway line between Shenfield and Southend Victoria.

In a further development, he has also told the Chief Reporter of Southend News Network that he was ‘astonished’ to learn that his company is responsible for running it, and a number of other senior executives within the company have spent the last few days coming to terms with this discovery.

Sir Henry said: ‘For a number of years now, we have been running smart and super-modern trains between London Liverpool Street and Ipswich, and often when passing through Shenfield myself and my executive team members have noticed these rickety old wagons that are destined for this mystical place called Southend Victoria or something like that.’

‘To be honest, we all just assumed that some other company was responsible for running it, and every time we decided to go on a weekend fact-finding mission down that way there were just buses everywhere and no actual trains running – at this stage we would usually just go down the pub instead.’

‘Just a few days ago, we were sitting in our head office boardroom and we noticed a map with this so-called branch line on it, and to our amazement it was exactly the same colour as the rest of our railway network.’

After taking a few moments to compose himself and take a calming sip from a cup of tea, he added: ‘Nobody in the boardroom quite knew what was happening, but we grabbed some archived documents from the early 1900’s and realised that some of the trains in the images matched the same ones that we often see eerily waiting around at Shenfield destined for Southend.’

‘I made a few phone calls to our accountancy team, and one of my trusted advisors told me that passengers on this line are often paying more than £3000 per year to complete the journey between South Essex and London.’

‘This made us even more amazed about the fact that we failed to notice it for so long.’

‘To be honest, we just assumed that most sane people in the area just took the air-conditioned trains with the great big toilets on the other line to London, but now it seems that we will need to include these poor people in our future plans as well.’


  1. It’ll come as an even bigger shock when Abellio Greater Anglia discover ‘passengers’ are actually real people!