A government spokesperson has confirmed that the Supreme Court’s ruling that parliament must vote on triggering Article 50 and leaving the European Union will now be appealed in the Mega Court.
In a speech this afternoon in the House of Commons, Junior Justice Minister Marlon Squirmby said that the Mega Court’s construction will begin shortly in Central London, with the site expected to be the largest courthouse ever seen in the world.
He said: ‘The Mega Court will be an imposing, gold-plated building that is more than 1000ft tall. It will be visible from as far away as Milton Keynes.’
‘It will have absolute power over any other judicial institution in the United Kingdom, with a special Act of Parliament guaranteeing that nobody will be allowed to build a Super Mega Court if one side doesn’t like how this Brexit appeal turns out.’
‘A mega panel of 25 judges will sit on 20ft-high thrones with wigs made of titanium weave, with participants required to refer to them as ‘Your Meganess’ at all times.’
‘They will also be required to bow while speaking to them directly.’
‘Unlike any other court in the land, judges will have the option of applying the death penalty if necessary, with each judge holding a pointed sabre should they decide to administer punishment there and then.’
‘Two rooms in the basement will be set aside for representatives from the Welsh and Scottish governments to watch proceedings on a four-inch black and white screen.’
‘In the event that we cannot get the Mega Court built in time, our alternative plan is a panel of supreme panel of underworld leaders including the guy from Inspector Gadget with the cat, Cyril Sneer, Skeletor and The Fat Controller.’