A 19-year-old girl from Southend has sensationally QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA for the eleventh time in 24 hours.
Jessica Bubzout of Fairfax Drive told our Chief Reporter that it would be for real this time, with there being absolutely no chance whatsoever of sharing another top-down cleavage-filled image in a desperate bid for attention.
She said: ‘That’s it. I’m done with Facebook, Instragram, Twitter and Snapchat. Game over.’
‘I have announced this massive news to my 34,000 followers today. There are some complete weirdos out there and I had absolutely no idea that a 54-year-old man could hide behind a computer screen and knock one out to one of my 243 Ibiza beach party bikini pics from last summer.’
‘Every provocative and essentially identical image that I share is purely for artistic and cultural reasons. I can’t believe that they let just anybody use the Internet.’
‘People can plead with me as much as they want. I’m deactivating Facebook as we speak. Look! Here I go now. I’m pressing the button. Don’t try and stop me! Please don’t. Sorry what did you say about staying online? Nope sorry it’s too late. Sad emoji.’
We asked Ms Bubzout about the other ten times that she has declared her exit from the cyberworld within the last day, and she said that people had been using some ‘really nasty words’ towards her.
She added: ‘Someone called me ‘vacuous’ and I have no idea what the means. The Facebook app on iPhone doesn’t have a dictionary in it and if I don’t understand something I am usually offended just in case.’
‘It’s outrageous that people are allowed to comment on my photos and it is causing me a great deal of distress. Why can’t they just look at them and post likes without getting all philosopherical about it?’