A spokesperson for the Department of Employment has confirmed that ‘full-time mummy’ is to become an officially recognised job from 1st June 2016 – it is thought that the decision could reduce official unemployment figures by more than 35% over the next five years. According to research that was carried out by a government agency, the job title is used by more than 10,000 Facebook users in Essex alone, and so the benefits to the UK economy could be ‘significant.’

Dennis Nincom MP said: ‘Facebook has changed the way that people live their lives both personally and professionally, and our researchers noticed that thousands of people in Essex list their profession as ‘full-time mummy’, ‘full-time mum’, ‘busy mum of three’ or ‘single mummy to Zacky his dad don’t do f**k all.’ Therefore, this is a legally-binding declaration that they are happy to be considered as ’employed’, and as a government we are happy for these people to be recognised as being in a role with more than 100 hours a week with no paid breaks, no holiday and a wide variety of poorly-spelt Internet memes.’

Mr Nincom added: ‘For the purposes of official reporting, people describing themselves as ‘full-time mummy’ will have to change their designation to ‘full-time mummy and full-time self-employed network marketing participant’ if they decide to take part in any of the business opportunities that come up on Facebook – this will ensure that the government can keep track of how the economy is developing as a whole in both Essex and beyond. Also, we are investigating the possibility of adding ‘full-time daddy’ to our register of official professions, but our senior lawyers have told us that this could be a breach of sexual equality laws.’


  1. Congrats! I am in full time support of Yummy Mummy’s on Facebook and Tinder. Another winner!

  2. Does this mean the Mummies in the British Museum are entitled to 3000 years of back-benefits?