In a move that is likely to cause OUTRAGE across Britain, a leading French government official has confirmed that border controls at Dover will be relaxed and sped up if BREXIT IS SCRAPPED.
Speaking to gathered journalists at Dover Ferry Port this morning, French Interior Minister Jacques Oeuf said that the current low border staff levels are ‘not totally a punishment’ for Britain voting to leave the EU.
He said ‘Let me make myself perfectly clear on behalf of the French Government. We have not made the queues leading to Dover Port long just to punish the British people for voting to leave the European Union.’
‘However, where some people see an inconvenience, we see an opportunity. Therefore, I have 15 fully-trained border security staff on standby, and I can send them over if Theresa May confirms that the UK will remain a part of the European Union.’
‘This will all be incredibly democratic as a lot of the people stuck in 16-hour queues on the motorway will probably swing from ‘leave’ to ‘remain’ if it gets them on holiday faster.’
We asked Mr Oeuf what would happen if we refused to scrap Brexit.
He replied: ‘Nothing will happen as this isn’t some kind of, how you say, the carrot and the twig situation.’
‘However, there is talk of a complete strike amongst Channel Border Staff due to an industrial dispute over the brand of hand soap we use in the employee toilets. The smart money is on six weeks.’