A far-right group who bill themselves as ‘taking their country back’ has opened a market stall in Southend On Sea selling ALCOHOLIC BACON, and they have already been threatened with closure by local trading standards.
English For The English have opened their Patriot Meats stall to sell a range of flavours of the processed pork delicacy, and they claim to have sold more than 200 rashers of the product already.
The stall’s manager Darren Fadger told Southend News Network that ‘it’s time for Britain to be proud of bacon and alcohol again, especially at the same time.’
He added: ‘Political correctness in this country has prevented anyone from launching alcoholic bacon until now, and so it was up to true patriots like us to offer this product to proud British people who are sick and tired of their freedom of meat being eroded so that nobody gets offended.’
‘We don’t discriminate on our stall – we sell to anyone who is interested. We’ve even had a number of Jewish customers come and try some of our gin-soaked gefilte fish.’
‘All of the big supermarkets will never offer alcoholic bacon because of left-wing activism and snowflakes, but we are not afraid to stand up for what we believe in.’
‘We might even launch in the United States. I heard just the other day that Donald Trump fired gammon.’
Patriot Meats have 14 different versions of the bacon on sale, and each packet is made by taking six rashers of conventional smoked bacon and soaking it in alcohol for 4-6 weeks.
However, a spokesperson for Trading Standards South Essex told us that the stall is already under investigation and the threat of closure after a 21-year-old man from Chalkwell tried to fry two rashers of their Absinth-soaked variety and singed his eyebrows off.