A Facebook user from Southend has been telling Southend News Network about how she constantly feels the urge to describe every single thing that she does in her life. In a shocking development, she also admitted that she has to use Facebook’s geolocation tool to tell the whole world where she is doing it, along with who she is doing it with. 

Anna Smeeth said: ‘One day I just decided that the whole universe would actually give a sh*t about every single minute detail of my life, and also that they would be positively fascinated to know where I do everything and also the other people who happen to be doing it at the same time as me. Having a wee? Read all about it. Getting a smear test? You heard it first here. Collapsing under the weight of my own self-importance? Check my pics and hashtags and share them endlessly.’

Her equally fascinating friend Chloe Pumpton said: ‘I don’t really think that my Facebook friends want to know every single detail of my daily routine, but I am pretty certain that they all want to see my tits at regular intervals and my ‘come to bed’ face. I did have a bit of a scare last week when I became temporarily paralysed from the lips outwards, but fortunately I could still communicate with the outside world through Facebook and add emojis to express my individuality.’


  1. Very entertaining reading on Facebook but a tadge too much information in respect of Anna’s visit to the STD clinic. I can only imaging that having to be treated for just one of these is bad enough.

    Mind you I suspect there are now a lot of worried husbands out there – I wonder if the clinic will cope with all the demand?

    1. Helen,

      I can confirm the clinic is coping albeit with long queues. However, there is now a backlog of divorce hearings pending at the law courts.