Social media campaigners have reacted with horror after it was announced that Facebook is about to launch a new button that will appear whenever a user uploads a photo. The ‘I Would’ button will be available for anyone who wishes to express a desire to have sex with the person who appears in the image, and in certain countries the button will open a list of other options to indicate different levels of ‘I Would.’ However, concerned activists are worried about how the button will be abused when parents upload an image of a child, and younger Facebook users are being warned to use the network with extreme caution. 

Shannon Narcisto, 18, is currently studying at Southend Beauty College for a diploma in Nail Physics, and she has admitted that she is very excited about the new button. She said: ‘When I put a selfie on Facebook, I’m not really interested in what everyone thinks about matching my bag to my dress – all I care about is if my 47-year-old family friend from Norfolk would consider sleeping with me. I also have loads of friends from college and school who I wouldn’t even take a second look at, and knowing how many of them are looking at my picture and thinking ‘what if’ will sustain me fantastically.’

Nathan Cronge is a social media campaigner in Essex, and he told Southend News Network that he is ‘disgusted’ by the changes. He said: ‘When a user is posting in the United Kingdom, the ‘I Would’ button will automatically open a number of other reactions that are even more shocking. In trials, I noticed that these include ‘Until Next July’ and ‘Only When Drunk’ – it is like Facebook is cracking open a Pandora’s Box of insecurities. People who get 500 likes for a photo in a club with some sort of Ronseal skin coating on can already assume that their ‘I Would’ count is high, and this extra button will only encourage them to post even more attention-seeking ‘I’m taken guys, so sorry’ shit.’


  1. I’ve just signed up to Facebook to find this button only to find my husband signed up this afternoon.

    I’m just waiting until he gets back from the pub when he can explain himself.