A spokesperson for the Football Association has confirmed that fans of West Ham United will no longer be allowed to use the phrase ‘but we won the World Cup’ to try and end every single fucking argument.

Under the new ruling that comes into effect immediately, any West Ham supporter who is overheard using the phrase by an FA official faces a permanent ban from all 92 football league grounds.

In a statement, Sir Mill Bertichip said: ‘It has come to our attention that fans of West Ham United are suffering from a terrible delusion where they are convinced that fielding multiple players in a World Cup Final-winning team more than fifty bastard years ago somehow makes all forms of West Ham United both past, present and future somehow not only the greatest footballing team on the entire planet, but also the greatest thing in the history of everything, ever.’

‘Based on feedback that we have received, it has now reached the stage where many fans of other teams are seriously considering giving them a good hiding out of desperate frustration, and we cannot run the risk of disorder inside and outside football grounds.’

‘Therefore, we are introducing this new penalty to ensure that football games in England provide a safe and secure environment for everyone.’

‘In the event that these measures don’t work, we will consider imposing further punishments on the club.’

West Ham United part-owner David Sullivan issued a desperate plea to all fans shortly after the FA made this announcement.

He said: ‘We cannot afford to be a docked a single point this season, and so I must plead with every fan out there to do the right thing and apply some actual footballing analysis when arguing with supporters of other teams down the pub instead of just spurting out ‘but we had done won the World Cup me old china’ between mouthfuls of jellied eels.’

West Ham manager Slaven Bilic added: ‘Anyone fancy a game. Seriously?’