In a landmark legal ruling at the High Court in London on Thursday, a panel of three mega judges concluded that the 2016 EU Referendum should be officially referred to as the ‘2016 EU Opinion Poll’ from this point forwards.
The move comes after the attached court case discovered that the 51.9% ‘leave’ vote was about as legally binding as a group of Essex pissheads deciding where to buy a kebab at 2.45am on a Saturday night.
Speaking outside of the Old Bailey, the case’s founder Jemima Clonge-Meddler said that this was a victory for democracy.
She added: ‘Mathematicians have always thought that a ‘majority’ is any percentage over 50%, and I am delighted at today’s ruling that a majority can only be declared when it is for the outcome that you want.’
‘We are not prepared to merely rest on our laurels however, and we are already putting together a legal argument for Candice Brown to be stripped of the 2016 Great British Bake Off crown on the grounds that Paul and Mary know f**k all about baking.’
‘In the scandalous event that Candice is allowed to retain her title, we are committed to funding judges with bigger and bigger wigs until we achieve our desired goals.’
‘I reject all of the allegations that this type of legal proceedings is out of reach for the common member of the electorate. It is a simple fact of life that anyone has the right to get their grievances heard in front of the second-highest court in the land, provided that they have £160,000 knocking about which let’s face it is small change isn’t it?’