A number of residents of Leigh On Sea in Essex have contacted Southend News Network to say that they are OUTRAGED after filming got underway for a new adult movie that is being set in the town.
Although Artisanal In Leigh’s director Robert Shafton is confident that the 18+ rated straight-to-DVD release will provide a huge boost to the profile of Leigh On Sea, local people have expressed concerns about the town’s image being ‘destroyed’ by the movie – we have already received some worrying reports from witnesses who have been invited to visit some of the ‘on location’ sites.
Director Robert spoke to our Chief Reporter about what he is describing as his ‘most ambitious project to date.’ He said: ‘My financial backers have all understood that traditional non-geographical adult movies have become less and less economically viable in the last ten years, and this is why we have chosen a more hyper-local format for this release.’
‘Leigh On Sea is a vibrant, culturally diverse and generally happening place to be, but more importantly it is famous around the world for being the artisan centre of Southern England. Artisanal In Leigh brings everything together into one glorious whole, and we strike the perfect balance between a showcase of contemporary artistic talent and close-up shots of Essex’s greatest adult actresses taking it firmly up the Estuary.’
‘We have been very fortunate to get some huge names on board for this project. Jeremy Eastwood, Chalkwell Charlie and Waverley Steamer are all making their debut with us, and we are also delighted to be welcoming Kursaal Kat and Broadway Bella out of retirement for a one-off comeback.’
North Leigh resident Roger Zonal, 67, told our Chief Reporter that he was ‘sickened’ by what he witnessed during an on-location shoot earlier this week.
He said: ‘I was invited to watch one of the movie shoots taking place as my friend owns a superfoods shop in Leigh Road that was being used as a set. The director kept saying that he was keen to keep everything as authentic as possible, but what I saw them do with a punnet of cooked quinoa was disgusting.’
‘As far as I am aware, what I witnessed would only be legal in a limited number of Scandinavian countries, and it was a total waste of organic produce.’
In a late development, police officers were called to the upstairs car park of Leigh’s Waitrose due to a scene that was being filmed in the open air, and a member of the public told Southend News Network that a number of scuffles broke out.
The shopper, who didn’t want to be identified, said: ‘Apparently one of the scenes involves a dispute between a young mother with two kids in her car who cannot park in a Parent and Child space due to the presence of a childless Land Rover Overfinch car with shiny bits and tinted windows.’
‘The offender is willing to give up his space to the large-breasted mother if she is willing to perform something called a North Leigh Reacharound, and it took some onlookers more than fifteen minutes to realise that they were watching a pornographic movie being made. Five police officers attended the scene to restore order, while paramedics treated an elderly gentleman for heatstroke.’
Artisanal In Leigh will be available to purchase on DVD from October 1st for £29.99, and a special edition gift tin triple set will be on sale for £39.99 that includes copies of ‘Vange’ and ‘Prittlewell Stink.’