A 32-year-old man from Great Wakering in Essex and his twin sister have been celebrating today after the High Court in London overturned a previous ruling that they would not be allowed to get married. 

According to their legal team, there is new evidence to show that the biological impacts of incest are reduced between twin siblings, and Judge Barry Gibb-Gabb QC cited this as ‘pivotal’ in his decision. 

Speaking outside of court shortly after the ruling, their chief lawyer Nigel Webb said that this was a ‘landmark moment’ in British legal history. 

He read a carefully-prepared statement that said: ‘Modern Britain is all about democracy, choice and a live and let live approach to the pursuit of happiness – today’s decision has these principles right at the very core.’

‘Every year, counselling services in the UK report more than 5000 cases of people desperate for help because they have developed significant sexual and emotional feelings for their twin brother or sister on a heterosexual or homosexual basis.’

‘Until now, society has been forced to offer counselling and custodial sentences to these individuals, but now we can finally say ‘that’s ok, you crack on and be happy!’

‘In many rural Essex communities, twins are forced to travel far and wide in the search for love, and this decision will make a huge difference to the county’s overall Carbon Footprint.’

‘As the wise and established saying goes … Why go out for a hamburger when you have a steak at home? If the end result is a child that develops the ability to breathe underwater, then surely this is a step forward.’

A source confirmed that a number of parish councils both north and south of the River Crouch are watching the developing situation with interest.