All ten DUP MPs in the House of Commons have voted AGAINST the government in tonight’s vote about passing the EU Withdrawal Bill after senior party officials noticed that Theresa May’s £1bn cheque had bounced.
The payment had originally been issued in return for a confidence and supply arrangement where the DUP’s MPs would side with The Tories on all matters apart from the gays and Michael Flatley.
Because of the last-minute drastic turn of events, the Conservatives were defeated by 332 votes to 318, and as a result the Brexit process could be delayed.
The defeat would have been lighter, but all of Sinn Fein’s MPs turned up for the craic.
A senior DUP source said: ‘We were all just about to walk off from the House of Commons into the voting area, when Arlene took me to one side and asked me to pop down to the cashpoint quickly to see if the cheque had cleared.’
‘I noticed that our balance was £10.75, and I gave Ulster Bank a quick call to make sure that there wasn’t some mistake.’
‘Luckily I had a photocopy of the cheque with me and so I took another look, and that’s when I noticed that she had signed it ‘Flibblebollocks McDonald Sr.’
‘I told Arlene and she marched straight up to Theresa with a face like a slapped arse. Things got heated pretty quickly and within minutes they had both pulled off their stilettos and were having at each other.’
A Facebook post from Gina Miller said: ‘Wow. That’s going to save me a load of legal bollocks then.’