Representatives for the republican presidential candidate Donald Trump have confirmed that he will visit various locations across Essex over an unspecified week in October for what he has described as a ‘goodwill mission in recognition of the county’s strong support in the Brexit referendum.’
Speaking on his behalf, campaign manager Bradderly Kapowski said: ‘During the Brexit referendum, Donald followed the results very closely and he was incredibly impressed by the resilience shown by the Essex people to vote ‘out’ at a time when people across the United Kingdom were throwing all sorts of accusations and insults at them’
‘He strongly objects to society using the term ‘working class’ as an insult, and he was sorry to see so many Essex voters having to endure this disgraceful name calling.’
According to a leading US election strategist, the tour of Essex will provide a huge boost without Trump actually meeting a single relevant voter.
Martha Marthason-Marthaton said: ‘In a recent survey, 75% of people in Essex said that they were in favour of building a wall so that illegal migrants were kept out. It was only recently that everyone realised that they were referring to residents of Kent.’
Mr Trump will begin his Essex tour on Canvey Island with a drag racing display on Roscommon Way being held in his honour. Later in the week, he will visit Shoeburyness and meet a campaign group of residents who have been pleading with the local government for a Thorpe Bay postcode.
According to his team, for the remainder of his time in Essex he will travel around and meet local people for ‘frank and honest’ discussions about right-wing topics while doing that weird finger pointy thing.