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Severe delays have been reported on the c2c line this morning, leading to significant frustration for thousands of people commuting to London, and a source within the railway company has confirmed that a number of carriages are unavailable due to them being HUNGOVER after a rolling stock ‘behind closed doors’ drinking session at the Shoeburyness depot spiralled out of control. According to a nighttime security official at the depot, the trouble began shortly after the last train had returned to the terminus building at 0030 on Sunday night/Monday morning.
The employee, who doesn’t want to be named, said: ‘The last train carriages had returned just after half past midnight, and the drivers had all gone home – this is usually the point when I would lock all of the external doors and begin my patrols until sunrise. However, just as I was signing out the final driver of the night, the depot security shutters came down and I was left out in the cold – my keys were useless as one of the carriages had locked everything from the inside and put the latches on.’
He continued: ‘By the time I had managed to regain access at 4am, all of the carriages were either asleep or vomiting wildly, and I counted 750 empty Carlsberg Special Brew bottles all over the floor. To cap it all off, a guy from Domino’s Pizza arrived with 50 Farmhouse Supreme pizzas that had been ordered and paid for on a c2c corporate credit card – heaven knows how one of the trains got hold of it.’
By 7am this morning, it was already clear that there were serious problems on the line with so many trains sleeping off this night of binge drinking. One commuter at Thorpe Bay said: ‘I was due to travel on the 6.32 to Fenchurch Street, and the train was wobbling all over the place as it approached the station before it stopped about 30ft short of the platforms to compose itself and let out a huge belch. Once it had crept into Thorpe Bay, I saw a member of staff at the station chucking a whole packet of Alka Seltzer into the windscreen wash tank – surely a couple of slices of toast and a strong Americano would have been better?’
Camilla Feather-Dustridge contacted us after waiting more than 45 minutes for a train at Leigh On Sea today. She said: ‘By the time a train arrived, everyone could tell that the front carriage was under the influence. Every time the platform supervisor was holding up a sign to depart, the train just tried to cuddle up to him and tell him that he loved him like a brother while sobbing uncontrollably.’
Southend News Network has seen a number of text messages sent by one of the trains during last night’s drinking marathon, and it would appear that the spontaneous session was triggered by a great deal of unhappiness about the new timetable. Bosses on the line have confirmed that a regular ALA (Alcoholic Locomotives Anonymous) session will be set up to deal with the ‘ongoing and concerning culture’ of train carriages getting ‘rat arsed’ in the Shoeburyness depot.
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