In just a few weeks, Southend revellers will have a brand new nightclub to visit as the finishing touches are being put on new superclub Inebria. The impressive building has already grabbed the attention of passers-by in Clifftown Road, and the outgoing owner has one simple message for the people of Southend – ‘Come here and drink alcohol – we’ll put you on Facebook’.
Charlie Cirrhosis has already opened other branches of Inebria in 28 other locations around the UK, and he feels that Southend is the perfect location for his next venture. He said, ‘We have looked at the market very carefully in South Essex, and our research has shown us that 87% of people between the ages of 18-30 have one desire on Friday and Saturday evenings – to consume alcohol and then be seen to be consuming alcohol with a series of pictures on Facebook. Drinking alcohol without being seen on Facebook doing so is incredibly anti-social these days.’
He continued while applying another layer of gel to his hair, ‘At Inebria, we are taking things to another level. Every evening, ten photographers will roam around the club and take photographs of everyone inside, even if they don’t want to appear online. We will then plaster our club logo all over the images and share them on our Facebook page, and at this point people can then tag themselves in the photos. Tagging is a vital step in the process, as it allows as many people as possible on social media to see that their friends and colleagues have been consuming alcohol.’
According to Inebria’s director of marketing, Shaun Lacoste-Kappa, the Southend branch will revolutionise consuming alcohol and being seen on Facebook. He said, ‘We will be running a number of different promotions every evening, and our opening night will be one to remember! All of our images will be uploaded to Facebook instantly, and at the end of the night the customer with the most likes will win an exclusive t-shirt and 50 Jagerbombs. For licensing reasons, the winner will have to drink all of these before they leave the club, but they will be seen doing it on Facebook – it’s win-win!’
Southend clubbers are already buzzing about the new club, and Southend News Network can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that a spectacular event has been planned for New Year’s Eve. London sensation MC Heave will be entertaining the crowds, while all drinks will be priced at just £20. Inebria have asked us to remind readers that free tickets are limited to just 15,000 people, and a dedicated area will be cordoned off outside for boyfriend duelling and vomiting.
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