A 75-year-old man has been recalling his ‘horrific experience’ after a bungling chemist accidentally gave him a month’s supply of VIAGRA instead of sleeping pills.

According to Norris Lobonne from Fairfax Drive, Southend, the blunder led to him ending up in hospital as he was unable to get rid of his arousal in spite of masturbating more than forty times.

Mr Lobonne said: ‘I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately, so I went to my doctor for some help.’

‘He gave me a prescription for Spazoutapam, and when the chemist saw the dosage he said that he only had the quarter-size tablets which meant that I would need to take eight at bedtime instead of two.’

‘I followed his instructions, and I remember lying in bed and thinking that my hips were feeling a bit draughty.’

‘It was only when I tried to roll over that I realised that something was really wrong.’

‘To be fair I had just finished watching Murder She Wrote so I thought it might have been something to do with that, but my usual plan of action didn’t work after a number of attempts.’

‘After a couple of hours my rheumatism was playing up as well, so I took myself down to Southend A&E to get myself seem to.’

‘The girl on the desk was very understanding, even though I managed to knock her coffee over.’

Dr Amram Flasid took care of Mr Lobonne, and he told our Chief Reporter that he was very lucky on this occasion.

He said: ‘Because of this chemist’s negligence, Mr Lobonne could have suffered permanent damage.’

‘Other than having to spend a few weeks urinating from the other side of his landing, he should make a full recovery.’

‘He had ingested the sort of dosage that a vet would usually give a captive rhino in an endangered breeding programme.’

We approached Magoo and Sons Dispensing Chemist for a comment, but they were unwilling to speak to our reporter.

Their Westcliff branch has been closed ‘until further notice’ after an impotent customer visited the store and hasn’t woken up for four days.