An investigation by Southend News Network has revealed that there are hundreds of abandoned speedboats outside the homes of past Bullseye champions across the United Kingdom. 

A spokesperson for ITV has admitted that the broadcaster is partially responsible, recognising that a suitable alternative should have been offered for people living away from the coast.

Past champion Barry Inwan told our Chief Reporter that he is ‘ashamed’ of the rusting Motorboater 3000 he won on 11th January 1991.

He added: ‘To be honest the whole show is a bit of a blur – I only really remember up to the point where I was given the Morphy Richards bedside tea maker and single-deck cassette player the size of an average bathtub.’

‘The excitement must have gone to my head. I’d already won so much and I had to make a decision about playing for Bully’s Star Prize.’

‘I felt so rushed and pressured as I only had the time it takes for the board to spin round before Jim and that fat geezer wanted an answer.’

‘I thought to myself that I was buggered if I was going to let some bimbo with four-foot hair have a chance, so I went for it.’

‘Blockbusters had already kicked me off that week for having an obscene mascot and telling Bob Holness to kiss my arse.’

The true scale of the rusting speedboat epidemic only emerged this week when the popular Facebook page British Culture Archive published a harrowing image of a forgotten speedboat in Wigan or somewhere else that looks a bit northern.

It’s been a terrible week for the show, as it was also announced a few days ago that HMRC has opened an investigation after it was found that more than 300 losing contestants hadn’t declared their BFH.