According to a number of unconfirmed sources, ‘advanced talks’ are currently underway between the BBC and Sky Sports over a ‘groundbreaking’ swap deal that would see the long-running soap opera Eastenders move to Sky TV, with live coverage of Premier League Football switching to BBC One. Insiders at the satellite giant are convinced that the serial drama is worth billions of pounds in subscription revenue, and also that the timing couldn’t be better with Sky favourite Ross Kemp about to make his return to Albert Square. 

One of our sources said: ‘When one of the smaller teams lifted the Premier League title this year, we realised that the whole competition had become massively devalued – the fact remains that overweight armchair supporters want to see their lifelong idols in the Sky Four take the crown year after year. On the other hand, millions of people tune in to watch Eastenders every night, and at £15-£20 a throw those are BIG NUMBERS. Naturally all episodes will be shown on Sky Sports as it roughly as scripted as WWE Wrestling, or lawn bowls.’

A Beeb insider added: ‘This deal would involve Sky Sports giving up their ‘right to purchase’ for Premier League rights, and this would be a fantastic use for billions of pounds worth of licence fee revenue once the current deal expires. We plan to retain the highlights package for all episodes of Eastenders, and this will probably be a ten-minute summary show on a Thursday evening to ensure that Free To Air viewers can keep up with the latest action from E20.’