A spokesperson for the European Union Food Standards Commission has announced that there will be an urgent recall of more than 100,000 Kinder eggs that have been contaminated with crap toys.
Michelle Garridge, a mother from Southend On Sea in the United Kingdom, raised the alarm on Friday afternoon after her child was heard ‘weeping’ while trying to figure out what the hell some little spinny whirly plasticky cartoony thing was supposed to do.
Speaking to Southend News Network, Michelle added: ‘If I am being totally honest, the little yellow capsule is usually infinitely more interesting to a young child than the utter horror that lies within.’
‘You get a good chocolate smell on it for at least an hour after cracking the egg open.’
‘We had a little man the other day whose head just span around and around, and for some reason they included a little instruction sheet to show you how to spin his head around and around.’
EU investigators have now confirmed that the contamination has been traced to a factory in Lukaku, a small Belgian town that makes around 500,000 of the eggs every single day.
Jeremy Spunkton is the MP for Basildon Common and he is also in charge of the government’s Department Of Confectionary Standards.
He said: ‘This latest contamination is a disgraceful lapse in EU standards, and Brexit will allow the United Kingdom to finally manufacture its own chocolate eggs with toys inside.’
‘Imaging if Remain had won. We would have had a whole generation of children growing up with sub-standard micro toys and a pound that was worth a pound.’