Boris Johnson’s spine has announced this evening that it intends to enter the race to become leader of the Conservative party and therefore the Prime Minister. According to a passionate speech that it gave to a packed room at the Canary Wharf Hilton, it managed to escape serious injury after repeated stabbing attempts earlier this morning, and as a pro-BREXIT section of skeleton it feels that it has what it takes to go all the way. 

It said: ‘After it became obvious that I was surplus to requirements, I was inspired to throw my hat into the ring and try to finish what I started. During the referendum campaign, I had a far higher profile than the whole of Teresa May put together, and I have the ‘backing’ of a large number of Tory MPs. Michael Gove doesn’t worry me either – he will collapse under the weight of his own guilt soon enough.’

If Boris’ spine is successful in its leadership bid, it would only be the second time that a section of a human body has entered political office in the UK after Tony Blair’s nose snapped off shortly before the end of his time in 10 Downing Street.

Comments

  1. “it would only be the second time that a section of a human body has entered political office”

    But what about all the pr*cks and arseh*les in political office?