Fans of the popular Radio 4 soap opera The Archers have admitted that they are OUTRAGED after it was announced today that scenes have already been recorded for the show’s first ever twelve-person orgy. According to the controller of BBC Radio Sir Terrance Flouse, the storyline is set to ‘rock Ambridge to its very core’ when it is broadcast in the run-up to Christmas this year – he also hinted at an ‘explosive outcome’ that will change the soap’s landscape forever.

He said: ‘This has never been attempted before in the world of radio-only serial drama broadcasting. Although the exact details of the twelve-person orgy are going to remain under wraps until it is on the air, a small amount of information has been released to the press so that the public can get a taste of what is to come.’

‘It all begins with the annual Scrabble tournament in the village pub The Bull, and all of a sudden one of the established members of the cast asks the packed room if anyone has ever heard of something called a ‘munch.’ His or her request is met with a sort of confused silence, and he then goes on to explain that a ‘munch’ is a meeting of individuals who are interested in BDSM and other forms of group-based sexual intercourse.’

‘After a few people stop playing the word-based game to do some research on their mobile phones, twelve players decide that this sort of thing would provide a far more fulfilling evening’s entertainment. An older individual suggests getting some of the sheep down from Brookfield Farm, but this is quickly met with anger from the others who are keen to take part with humans only.’

‘All we can say for now is that the resulting twelve-person sexual gathering is a rollercoaster ride that will keep long-time and new Archers fans enthralled for the remainder of the two-hour special.’

He continued to explain how the orgy was created to sound as authentic as possible.

‘A number of the actors weren’t too keen to take part in the most graphic scenes of the orgy, and so we hired a group of professional adult actors to try and make the dialogue as true-to-life as it could be. Some people may think that it is all just a case of lots of ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing,’ but the entire sequence took a full five days to get absolutely 100% perfect.’

‘The trickiest part of the episode to record was when a number of agricultural implements were introduced to the room. Our expert sound engineers made sure that their operating noise didn’t overpower the rest of the scene.’

‘We actually ended up with quite a bit of material that we couldn’t use because of time restrictions, but we are delighted to announce that this will be made available in a special Christmas podcast.’

‘I can understand that a lot of listeners aren’t very happy that we have decided to go with this orgy storyline before the holiday season, but it is part of our commitment to ensure that The Archers stays up to date with issues that can be found all over rural Britain. Some critics have said that we could have easily downsized the orgy to a threesome or even an ‘Oxfordshire five-way,’ but to tell the truth anything less than twelve would have been a bit too ‘Hollyoaks.’