Ex-employees, members of the public and generally normal human beings have reacted with OUTRAGE this afternoon after the abandoned BHS building in Southend High Street was covered in artwork that is both insensitive and ‘insulting bollocks’ in equal measure.

Onlookers stood open-mouthed at the bright, cheerful and inspirational messages that have been plastered all over the store front at the request of the Business ‘Improvement’ District, with many people wondering whether there really could be a link between the slogans and the concept of people being told that their long-time employer had gone down the tubes, putting their homes and families in total f*cking jeapordy.

To make matters even more laughable, the vomit-inducing colourgasm covered up a controversial and thought-provoking image of BHS ‘legend’ Phillip Green – the man who thought that selling the whole outfit for a quid would turn out ‘just fine.’

phillip-green

The original portrait’s creator John Bulley spoke to Southend News Network’s Chief Reporter, and he didn’t mince his words.

He said: ‘How insensitive can Metal get? To put such a sickeningly cheesy, ‘uplifting’ message on the frontage of BHS when only a few weeks ago all their staff were sacked, their pensions robbed and with Christmas looming!’

However, one ex-employee of BHS said that Mr Bulley couldn’t be more wrong, and she encouraged the people of Southend to embrace the display for the ‘millenium-defining moment of brightness that it really is.’

She didn’t want to be named, and she added: ‘Until now, I have walked past that building every week on my way to the Jobcentre or the food bank, and the horrible grey frontage has reduced me to tears. However, when I saw those messages earlier today, I was reduced to tears of joy.’

‘I particularly like ‘Dream Wonderful Things,’ and I think my biggest dream at the moment is to have a pension pot with more than £7.24 in it.’

We contacted Southend Borough Council’s Ministry of Cultural Enrichment for a comment, and they responded by email a few moments ago. They pointed out that the project was just one of many ideas ‘in the melting pot’ at the moment.

Apart from next week’s planned addition of an image of Mr Green sipping Bollinger on his multi-gajillion pound yacht, they also confirmed that a disused toilet block near the Southend War Memorial Cenotaph is next in line for a complete makeover.

According to the department, one possible idea for a mural is to have a collection of the 20th Century’s greatest fascists portrayed in macaroni by primary school students from across the borough.