A spokesperson for Apple has confirmed that the upcoming flagship iPhone X smartphone will replace the voice recognition software Siri with Holly –  a low-level system but with more of a ‘human touch’ than both Siri and Cortana.

The news was announced in a small-scale press briefing that was held 48 hours after the main Apple press launch event in California.

Apple’s Chief Executive of Customer Experience Shaz Wazzerson told an excited audience that the software development was a ‘huge step forward’ and would also offer both male and female versions.

He said: ‘We have listened to our customers, and it has become clear that there are two main concerns when it comes to Siri.’

‘First of all, many people have said that it is prone to odd mistakes, like playing Terry Wogan’s Floral Dance when you ask for Ace of Spades by Mötörhead, and also transcription mistakes like when you say ‘Text my wife and tell her that I will be home in five minutes’ and it sends ‘I am home in five hours because I’m rogering the secretary.’

‘We have found that we cannot stop these mistakes, and so by giving the software a more human face we have found that people have been far more forgiving.’

‘Although in terms of artificial IQ we have seen that Holly only has a small fraction of the power of more advanced systems such as Queeg, we predict that it will be a big success and people will buy the phone anyway because you know, ‘baaaaaaaaah.’

Our Chief Reporter got the chance to try out one of the new handsets at the event, and he tested it with: ‘Hey Holly. How long should I boil an egg so that it is hard-boiled?’

‘After taking a few minutes to consult the Junior Encyclopaedia of Cookery, he replied: ‘Seven minutes.’

PETITION – APPLE: REPLACE SIRI WITH HOLLY NOW! CLICK HERE TO SIGN.