Will Peter De La Cloche's new business venture offering haircuts and circumcisions be a success?

A number of Southend residents have reacted with ANGER as a popular and successful local barber shop owner has purchased a neighbouring property and expanded his current business – he now intends to offer both haircuts and CIRCUMCISIONS.

Peter De La Cloche has been in charge of Southend Hair Experience on London Road since he took over the business in 1997, and he met our Chief Reporter to explain why he feels that there has never been a better time to branch out open ‘SNIPS ‘N’ TIPZ’, offering both haircuts and the delicate and highly sought-after procedure.

Mr De La Cloche explained: ‘It is hardly a secret that the NHS only has a limited amount of funding to offer circumcisions, and quite rightly the procedure will only be provided when there is a pressing medical need. At the same time, it is possible to get this done privately, but the fees can run into thousands of pounds.’

‘After months of discussions with members of the local community, I have identified a gap in the market where men of all ages want to be able to get this done on their lunch break or day off, but also for a competitive price. As long as they have managed to shave their intimate areas beforehand, our trained staff can get it done in as little as ten minutes.’

Unfortunately for Mr De La Cloche, it would appear that some local business owners are preparing to submit a formal complaint to Southend Council. These efforts are being organised by the manager of Butcher and Sons Butchers, Horace Butcher.

He said: ‘When SNIPZ ‘N’ TIPZ opens next week, we are predicting that our passing trade will fall by at least 30%. Nobody will want to stop and look at a window full of raw meat on hooks and prime cuts laid out on trays when there is a huge sign next door saying ‘BARGAIN CIRCUMCISIONS.’

‘Heaven knows what possessed the local planning department to approve Mr De La Cloche’s application in the first place!’

We mentioned these objections to Mr De La Cloche, but he remains confident that SNIPZ ‘N’ TIPZ will be a success.

He added: ‘We realise that we are doing something a little bit daring and controversial, but I predict that by 2020 it will be perfectly acceptable to pop out for a short back and sides both upstairs and downstairs.’

‘All procedures will be carried out by medically-qualified surgical professionals, initially serving male customers only, and detractors should remember that some of the world’s most successful people have undergone the procedure at some point – this is going to be a real game changer, making circumcisions accessible to all.’


  1. This is nothing new as my uncle used to offer this service.

    He said the pay wasn’t great although some of the tips were quite large.