Members of the public have been expressing concerns after it was announced that the former UKIP-leader Nigel Farage has been appointed as editor of What Tw*t magazine.
According to a number of experts, it will be ‘very difficult’ for Farage to juggle this new role with his existing commitments as a Member of the European Parliament, LBC radio host and tweed ambassador.
He spoke briefly to our Chief Reporter earlier this evening to confirm how his new routine will work.
Farage said: ‘I will arrive at What Tw*t’s headquarters at around 6am on weekdays to begin editing the magazine, and I will allow extra time for this in the weeks when their sister monthly publication Tw*ts and Tw*ttery is scheduled.’
‘At around 10am, I will have a pint and head over to Brussels or Strasbourg to shout at some unelected bureaucrats with funny names, before slotting in my radio presenting commitments wherever possible.’
What Tw*t is Britain’s most popular weekly magazine for male over-45s who are looking for unbiased and objective advice before choosing a Tw*t to follow into political or economic armageddon.
It currently outsells its main rival Practical T*sser by ten copies to one in the United Kingdom and Europe, and regular guest columnists include Jeremy Clarkson, Jonathan Ross, and that guy from The Raccoons who had those three pigs working for him while he tried to take over the forest.
Under his leadership, Farage has promised a range of exciting new features for the magazine, including a regular open-top Tw*tbus where a voice actor will dictate articles through a megaphone from a great height, somehow making them seem more believable to their core readership.