VLUU L200 / Samsung L200

Southend mobile catering licensing officials have promised that there will be an ‘immediate and thorough’ investigation after it emerged that a well-known and popular local ice cream lady has been offering sexual services from her van. According to a statement that was released shortly after her trading license was suspended, 69-year-old Patricia Jollop will not be allowed to resume her regular route until these allegations have been investigated thoroughly, and at least 26 different people have reported seeing ‘clients’ entering in her van’s rear door.

Southend News Network’s Chief Reporter was able to track down one of her regular customers, and his name has been changed to protect his identity. ‘Peter’ said: ‘Pat has been treated disgracefully by the local council, and everyone knows that she was forced into these extra services because of sky-high licensing fees. She was always really careful to keep things quiet by giving each service an innocent name, and people used to come from far and wide to check out her Strawberry Whip. Apparently her secret got out when someone was unhappy with her Chocolate Oyster, and the less said about her Lemon Ice Drizzle Cone the better.’

Miss Jollop’s suspension means that there will no longer be any outlets for Giusloppi Ice Cream in Southend On Sea, and other local ices traders are getting ready to apply for exclusive trading rights on her patch. This isn’t the first time that an ice cream van owner has been suspended in Southend for getting involved in illegal activities, with more than 500 complaints being made in 2014 after Westcliff licensee Nigel Mugabe was caught funnelling profits from his soft scoop operation into Zimbabwean arms exports. 

Comments

  1. Well you all know what a 99 with a brown flake is all about! Just say no kids!