Rush hour traffic was thrown into chaos yesterday evening as a ‘persistent and aggressive’ cat decided to sit in the middle of the A127 and hiss viciously at approaching drivers.
His chosen location meant that vehicles were entirely unable to join the Southend-bound carriageway – any cars that got within ten feet of the feline were reported to have suffered thousands of pounds worth of damage.
The first warning signs were observed at 4.58pm yesterday when he arrived at the scene, and within a few minutes the entire junction of the A130, A1245 and A127 was in chaos. It has now emerged that the cat is actually known to local feline social health professionals, and he has been named by concerned friends as Mr. Sniffles, an adult moggy from a seemingly loving home in Thundersley.
His long-time friend Barry Belch, who did not want to be named, managed to convince him to return to the safety of the central reservation by waving a bag of discarded salmon pieces – a number of police officers had already had little success with Dreamies, Go-Cat and Mouse Shavings from a local discount store. Just before Mr. Belch made the breakthrough, a patrol of PCSO cats had been drafted in from Southend Town Centre, including an appointed representative with experience in hostage negotiations.
SOUTHEND NEWS NETWORK POLL – VOTING HAS NOW CLOSED
Do you think that cats should be banned from sitting in the middle of the A127?
- Yes – 72%
- No – 18%
- Dog mess – 10%
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