BREAKING: Princess Diana ‘still dead’

According to a number of media sources except the Daily Express, it is being reported this evening that Princess Diana remains in a state of death. Although details...

Local anger after ‘halal’ fire extinguisher installed in Essex woodland area

Residents of an Essex town have reacted angrily after local council officials installed what appears to be a 'halal' fire extinguisher in a popular woodland tourist spot.  According...

WATCH: Crash in Dartford Tunnel after motorist CHANGES HIS MIND about paying £2.50

There has been a multi-car pile up in the Dartford Tunnel after a motorist changed his mind about paying the £2.50 toll and carried out an emergency...

BREXIT BOMBSHELL as United Kingdom forced to change national anthem after leaving EU

A spokesperson for the European Union's Brexit negotiating team has confirmed that the United Kingdom will be forced to stop using God Save The Queen as the...

BREAKING: 100,000 Kinder eggs contaminated with CRAP TOYS

A spokesperson for the European Union Food Standards Commission has announced that there will be an urgent recall of more than 100,000 Kinder eggs that have been...

OFFICIAL APOLOGY to Rupert Murdoch / News Corporation

Southend News Network would like to take this opportunity to apologise officially to Rupert Murdoch and News Corporation after their Chief Executive Robert Thomson blamed 'fake news'...

Refugees land on Essex beach, say F**K THIS and leave again

An inflatable boat containing around 20 refugees landed on the beach at Southend On Sea this morning. After around 15 minutes on dry land they could all...

Man in hospital with collapsed rectum after FORCING OUT POO before Slimming World weigh-in

A 32 year old man from Southend has been hospitalised with 'severe anal trauma' after allegedly trying to force a poo just minutes before weigh-in at a...

Study reveals average Essex girl’s make up able to WITHSTAND NUCLEAR BLAST

With Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un reportedly edging closer and closer to nuclear war, a study has revealed that the average Essex girl is wearing enough make...

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un F**K AND GET OVER IT

A joint statement from the White House and Pyongyang has confirmed that the President of the United States of America Donald Trump and the Leader of the...