Mugabe praises ‘inspirational Arsène Wenger’ in speech

The troubled President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe has delivered a passionate speech on TV and vowed to remain in power for several weeks in spite of the...

Grammar Police performing ‘stop and searches’ in Southend today

A spokesperson for the Grammar Police has confirmed that officers will be carrying out 'stop and searches' in Southend Town Centre today. According to their Community Liaison Officer...

Locals slam POINTLESS GATE in Southend park

Visitors to Priory Park in Southend have slammed the local council for spending more than £50,000 on a ‘pointless gate.’ According to the local authority, the so-called ‘Portal...

Millions WITHOUT ELECTRICITY after CATASTROPHIC failed North London power shift 

Millions of Londoners have been left without electricity this evening after the National Grid reported that a massive failed power shift occurred just before 3pm on Saturday...

Man struggling to find cartoon tie that doesn’t make him look like a paedophile

A 44-year-old man from Southend in Essex has been talking to Southend News Network about his struggle to find a cartoon tie that doesn't make him look...

Footballers raising money for Children In Need by standing in field of shit for...

A number of footballers at West Ham United are raising money for Children In Need by standing in a field of shit for 90 minutes on Saturday...

OUTRAGE as Tesco remove the word ‘Christmas’ from cracker packaging

Members of the public have reacted angrily after the supermarket Tesco removed the word ‘Christmas’ from their cracker packaging.  According to a number of the shoppers in their...

Emergency Act of Parliament passed to allow ambulances to park wherever they fucking need...

An emergency Act of Parliament has been passed today in the House of Commons that will allow ambulances to park wherever they fucking need to if someone...

PARENTS’ OUTRAGE as Postman Pat episode shows first-ever ‘outdoor sex scene’

Parents have been reacting with outrage and anger online after an episode of Postman Pat included an 'outdoor sex scene' involving the popular postman and farmer Alf...

Barmy EU law means Curlywurly bars must become 14% less curly and 8% less...

A new EU law that is due to come into effect on 1st December will force Cadbury’s to make some changes to their popular Curlywurly bar in...